Today marked three years since I received my county clerk signed and stamped divorce documents in the mail. I remember that jubilant first half hour home after work like it was yesterday. I felt 10 years younger and 10 years older all at once.
Today marked the 7th day straight I went to the gym and exercised for at least 45 minutes.
Six weeks ago I switched gym memberships, marking my 4th time as a card carrying, barcode scanning member of a fitness corporation. The first time, I lost way more money than any 23 year old should and gained very little stamina or confidence. The second time, I felt like a rockstar for about two weeks, taking advantage of a best price type deal - and then I went to the gym exactly 0 times for the rest of that deal period. Third time, I felt good, I found a mix of music that got me going, I felt strong... but I felt trapped in a single mom, nothing works for my schedule corner. No bueno. But third time being some kind of charm - I found the motivation to aberate - I needed a solution to push the noise back and make something important work.
I found that solution. And in the process I found myself all signed on to meet with a personal trainer once a week. An actual "Fitness Professional" to push, pull, and motivate me. I walked in there and said, yeah I have all these things I could call motivation, but let's face it, in the end I have needs - a need to feel strong and not question it, a need to lose actual lbs and gain overall health, and a need to be Beyonce when I grow up.
Beyonce wasn't built in a day. I saw that catchphrase on the internets recently and reacted with a Yaaasss and a high five to the imaginary angels. And you know what? Beyonce wasn't built in a month either. I've been working with the personal trainer for a month now. And I've lost exactly Zero lbs. Zero.
Beyonce doesn't count her haters - she doesn't need to - she's Beyonce.
I'm the Aberator and I like a challenge.
I got hit with the 300 meter challenge tonight. My trainer doesn't talk to me about the lbs number - he talks to me about upping my work and making new numbers. I've got (nearly) 99 lbs of haters on me, but this werk ain't concerned with any one of them. And so tonight I found myself saying outloud- Yes, Yes I want that rowing machine and I want more on my pull day, add in a challenge. First time, ever on a a rowing machine and I pulled 300 meters in 2:38. My trainer noted how impressed he consistently is by the power contained in a female's legs. (good guy..) And I thought - 300 meters? I'm gonna own this bitch.
Three years after I felt so accomplished and like I had a new lease on life - I've found the actual key to the feeling younger part.
Find yourself 300 meters, find it, own it and crush every second of those 300 meters. Build your inner Beyonce and slay.